Thank you everyone so very much for your prayers for Cesar. Kris and DeeDee were able to visit him while they were in Guatemala. From their perspective, he is in good hands for now and the family of Hermelindo is working really hard to give him the care he needs. They seem to really love him and want what is best for Cesar. They speak Que-chi (his native language) and a little bit of Spanish. They are trying to teach him some Spanish, which would certainly serve him well.
Please continue to pray for continued health for this precious little boy. Pray that all involved will truly have his best interest at heart and that everyone will be full of a supernatural amount of wisdom for him. Pray that if the family of Hermelindo is to be his forever home, that means will be made available for him to receive the therapy and counseling to conquer the years of neglect and abuse, so that he can be a thriving young man. Pray that the legal systems involved will truly and miraculously seek what is best for him. Please pray specifically that his lack of a birth certificate (it was burned in a house fire a few years ago) will not add complication to his situation. Praise the Lord that Hermelindo's family loves the Lord and they will care for him with the love of Jesus.
Thank you, thank you for your prayers, questions of concern, offers to help in any way you can. Your support and concern mean so much.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Cesar Update
Currently, Kris and DeeDee are in Guatemala. I was able to talk with DeeDee the other night and she gave me a bit of an update on Cesar. Hopefully, they will be able to go visit Cesar today (Saturday) as they are driving back to Guatemala City.
I heard, right after I had posted the last blog, that the brother of one of our former teammates, Ricardo, had taken him to live at his house for the time. He lives on the outskirts of Coban, about 2 1/2 hours from the Ulpan Valley. He and his wife have five children of their own and he is currently unemployed. DeeDee told me they have been working with Cesar and teaching him basic behaviors, such as using the bathroom appropriately, sitting at the table to eat, and eating what is given to him. For the past 7 years, he would only be given a corn tortilla each day, a cup of coffee, and perhaps an occasional egg. It is an amazing example to see Hermelindo's family give abundantly to this child in need and step out in obedient faith that God will provide for their needs.
From my side of things, I am asking lots of questions about what would be best for Cesar. I truly want this child to have a chance to not simply survive, but to thrive in society. At this point, I feel like he is at risk of so many issues. He has suffered years of abuse and I believe he needs lots of therapy, counseling, and perhaps much more in order to be healed. I also believe all of that is completely possible. Nothing is impossible with our God (Luke 1:37).
Please continue to pray for him and for this family caring for him. Pray that all of us involved will have a great deal of wisdom and know what is best for him. Pray that he will receive the care he needs to be able to thrive. Please ask that God will move mountains in order to bring healing to sweet Cesar.
Thanks so much.
I heard, right after I had posted the last blog, that the brother of one of our former teammates, Ricardo, had taken him to live at his house for the time. He lives on the outskirts of Coban, about 2 1/2 hours from the Ulpan Valley. He and his wife have five children of their own and he is currently unemployed. DeeDee told me they have been working with Cesar and teaching him basic behaviors, such as using the bathroom appropriately, sitting at the table to eat, and eating what is given to him. For the past 7 years, he would only be given a corn tortilla each day, a cup of coffee, and perhaps an occasional egg. It is an amazing example to see Hermelindo's family give abundantly to this child in need and step out in obedient faith that God will provide for their needs.
From my side of things, I am asking lots of questions about what would be best for Cesar. I truly want this child to have a chance to not simply survive, but to thrive in society. At this point, I feel like he is at risk of so many issues. He has suffered years of abuse and I believe he needs lots of therapy, counseling, and perhaps much more in order to be healed. I also believe all of that is completely possible. Nothing is impossible with our God (Luke 1:37).
Please continue to pray for him and for this family caring for him. Pray that all of us involved will have a great deal of wisdom and know what is best for him. Pray that he will receive the care he needs to be able to thrive. Please ask that God will move mountains in order to bring healing to sweet Cesar.
Thanks so much.
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| This picture was taken on April 2, 2014 |
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Please pray for Little Cesar
Dear friends and family,
I know it has been a while since we have posted on this blog...since our journey does not often take us into the Ulpan Valley these days...however, we have received some very sad news. Please join us in praying for all involved with this situation. I am simply going to copy the words of the director of CAFNIMA, Christian Aponte, with whom we partnered while we were working in the valley. Though his English is excellent, it is his second language, so please disregard any grammatical errors.... or mine for that matter :-)
Your prayers for all of those involved in this situation are greatly appreciated. For wisdom and for the resources to provide exactly what Cesar needs. And especially that he will know the deep, deep love that Jesus has for him...even though he has not been shown that love very often on this earth.
Thanks,
Katy
I know it has been a while since we have posted on this blog...since our journey does not often take us into the Ulpan Valley these days...however, we have received some very sad news. Please join us in praying for all involved with this situation. I am simply going to copy the words of the director of CAFNIMA, Christian Aponte, with whom we partnered while we were working in the valley. Though his English is excellent, it is his second language, so please disregard any grammatical errors.... or mine for that matter :-)
The situation of Cesar has not been good. The adoptive mother gave back Cesar about 5 months ago because he seams not to be able to be train to use the letrine and he defecates on his cloth all the time. We contacte the goberment office, PGN, and the did no follow up. He came to Benituzul a month ago malnurished and hungry. I was able to find a loving grandmother in Coban to take care of him for 3 weeks, But she is giving Cesar back to us for several reasons, She can not train him to use the bathroom, he constanly try to get out of the house. She leave infront of the house we had in Coban, so Cesar was found in the bridge waking and she is scare that a truck may kill him in the road. Then Cesar seam to see imaginary people. We suspect he may be sufering from infantile psicosis due to the great stress suferred. Ricardo will pick him up in Coban and we are just trying to see any option for his care and avoid the institucionalization in the horrible guatemalan state run institutions. Pray for us please.
Your prayers for all of those involved in this situation are greatly appreciated. For wisdom and for the resources to provide exactly what Cesar needs. And especially that he will know the deep, deep love that Jesus has for him...even though he has not been shown that love very often on this earth.
Thanks,
Katy
Friday, October 4, 2013
Similar Work - New Opportunities
I wanted to thank everyone again for all your support over the past year and let you know about a new opportunity that I have been asked to participate. I would not have been prepared in the same way had it not been for your generosity over the past eighteen months...
On October 18th I will be traveling to Haiti to participate in a design trip for a new water system for the Thomazeau area. Our hope is to design a water system that will be able to serve up to 20,000 people in desperate need of a clean, reliable drinking water system. The current team is a partnership between Living Water (Nashville, TN), LiveBeyond Mobile Medical Disaster Relief, and Knox ProCorps. Our team of eight will be doing the field work necessary to completely define the project and produce design documents for fund raising and construction.
Haiti's water supply infrastructure has not recovered since the earthquake and has been exacerbated by the introduction of Cholera during the relief efforts. If you would like to learn more about Haiti's water situation please read the following links.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/01/world/americas/haitis-cholera-outraced-the-experts-and-tainted-the-un.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
https://medium.com/medium-for-haiti/50f6c0314b9e
Ulpan Update:
The work on water projects in the Ulpan Valley has slowed since our departure but is still ongoing. Julio has been working on a latrine program to increase sanitation in the valley and we have heard recently that another village has requested CAFNIMA's help with a water system. We think that Lipscomb Engineering students in collaboration with Kris Hatchell (our partner from the valley) will design and help construct this system.
Mark
On October 18th I will be traveling to Haiti to participate in a design trip for a new water system for the Thomazeau area. Our hope is to design a water system that will be able to serve up to 20,000 people in desperate need of a clean, reliable drinking water system. The current team is a partnership between Living Water (Nashville, TN), LiveBeyond Mobile Medical Disaster Relief, and Knox ProCorps. Our team of eight will be doing the field work necessary to completely define the project and produce design documents for fund raising and construction.
Haiti's water supply infrastructure has not recovered since the earthquake and has been exacerbated by the introduction of Cholera during the relief efforts. If you would like to learn more about Haiti's water situation please read the following links.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/01/world/americas/haitis-cholera-outraced-the-experts-and-tainted-the-un.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
https://medium.com/medium-for-haiti/50f6c0314b9e
Ulpan Update:
The work on water projects in the Ulpan Valley has slowed since our departure but is still ongoing. Julio has been working on a latrine program to increase sanitation in the valley and we have heard recently that another village has requested CAFNIMA's help with a water system. We think that Lipscomb Engineering students in collaboration with Kris Hatchell (our partner from the valley) will design and help construct this system.
Mark
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Processing Part 2 - No Water
I wrote this during April when Drew and I had returned to the valley. Just another perspective from Ulpan as I continue to process all that we experienced.
No Water
For our time in April - Drew and I took occasional baths from a rusty 55 gallon barrel.
The last few days in the valley we had a unique experience given our activities over the past year. We were out of water. The water system on the side of Benitzul where we live is one of the most difficult to operate of all the systems we have installed. In the dry season the two springs that feed our half of the system typically go dry and there are no other sources that can feed this area by gravity. Folks before our time here in the valley installed a solar pump to push water to our side so that we and the homes around us would continue to have water in the dry season. Something is wrong with the system at the moment and our lines are empty. We find ourselves in the development catch 22 - if we go fix it we take away a growth opportunity from the water committee - but to wait for the water committee to fix it means we wait for several days. This conundrum is fodder for another reflection, but the thought for now is life with very little water. It is an odd irony that we have experienced life much as those here without a good water system in our last week. Our situation was complicated by the fact that we had a team of eight here during this week so our demand was much greater.
We have a rain collection tank here at the house. It is plumbed so that when the water system is not functioning it supplies water to our spigots. So we relied on our rain catchment, but with eight extra people it was not large enough to last a week. We had rain two nights, and I can remember saying a prayer of thanks for the rain, it was currently our only source of water. We pulled out two fifty gallon plastic barrels and put them under points on the roof to collect extra water, but to use this water we have to walk outside and fill up a bucket much as many of the women in this area go to local springs to get water. To say the least it has been inconvenient and a little worrisome. It is still hard to imagine living like this, but in the midst of trying to fix this situation we had not really experienced their plight. We are not washing clothes before we leave because we don't have enough water. We are prioritizing our water use for filtered drinking water first, cooking second, then dishes. Water begins to consume our thoughts and our time. Water is life. Easy water is peace and industry towards other ends.
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| Unrelated photo of Little Monkey taking a bath at a hotel with no bath tubs. |
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Processing & April
First, I apologize it has taken me so long to make this post. On the one hand, moving back and starting a new job has made life really busy, on the other, I have still been doing much processing about our past year and it has been hard to but those thoughts to paper (or the ethereal blog cloud). I have come to realize that I will not be done processing our experience in the Ulpan Valley anytime soon. As much as I would like to sum it all up and write a final blog - I don't think that can happen with any real honesty. So I will continue to throw a few snippets about my processing out on this blog here and there until most of the processing is done.
Here is summary of the work we accomplished in April:
Drew and I had a good time in April when we returned for two weeks. We had planned to help with a team from Engineers Without Borders (EWB) and to design a system for San Vicente 2 (SV2), but as often was the case, our plans changed a little when we got there. SV2 was not ready for us to design their system so instead we did preliminary studies of two other villages. Chirubiquim (CBQ) is a village slightly outside the valley near Semesche (where we did our Decemeber construction project). They had seen the project in Semesche and wanted something similar in their village. I spent two days hiking through this village with their leaders looking at potential springs that could provide community access points to better water. We found several springs that, when combined, may be able to provide a source of water for their school and a couple of community access points, but they unfortunately were not able to show us any springs that would be an ample supply of water for the entire community. We left the community with a list of things to accomplish before we would be able to help them complete a design and project. Those things included getting written permission from property of the small springs that we found and sending a letter to CAFNIMA asking for help with a water system. The property permission has always been a long process in our experience.
The other village that we visited was Ulpan 2 (ULP2). ULP2 is in the middle of the valley (and though I don't know this as fact) I believe they were the original village in the area. They are now ULP2 because the farmers who took over the land in the valley displaced the original ULP from the best land in the middle of the valley. ULP2 has a very nice spring that we believe is on property owned by the village. We hiked to this spring and did a preliminary survey with some of the village leaders. We left ULP2 with the same instructions as in CBQ - proof of ownership and solicitation letter to CAFNIMA. The biggest problem in ULP2 is that - for some reason - not all of the people who live in this village want a water system. We told the leaders that contacted us that we would prefer that everyone receive access to the water if we were going to help them with a system and the last I heard they were still discussing this as a community. We did not want to create a situation of the "HAVE" and "HAVE-NOTS" so our hope is that they will come to an agreement where all will have access to the water system.
...more to come...
Here is summary of the work we accomplished in April:
Drew and I had a good time in April when we returned for two weeks. We had planned to help with a team from Engineers Without Borders (EWB) and to design a system for San Vicente 2 (SV2), but as often was the case, our plans changed a little when we got there. SV2 was not ready for us to design their system so instead we did preliminary studies of two other villages. Chirubiquim (CBQ) is a village slightly outside the valley near Semesche (where we did our Decemeber construction project). They had seen the project in Semesche and wanted something similar in their village. I spent two days hiking through this village with their leaders looking at potential springs that could provide community access points to better water. We found several springs that, when combined, may be able to provide a source of water for their school and a couple of community access points, but they unfortunately were not able to show us any springs that would be an ample supply of water for the entire community. We left the community with a list of things to accomplish before we would be able to help them complete a design and project. Those things included getting written permission from property of the small springs that we found and sending a letter to CAFNIMA asking for help with a water system. The property permission has always been a long process in our experience.
The other village that we visited was Ulpan 2 (ULP2). ULP2 is in the middle of the valley (and though I don't know this as fact) I believe they were the original village in the area. They are now ULP2 because the farmers who took over the land in the valley displaced the original ULP from the best land in the middle of the valley. ULP2 has a very nice spring that we believe is on property owned by the village. We hiked to this spring and did a preliminary survey with some of the village leaders. We left ULP2 with the same instructions as in CBQ - proof of ownership and solicitation letter to CAFNIMA. The biggest problem in ULP2 is that - for some reason - not all of the people who live in this village want a water system. We told the leaders that contacted us that we would prefer that everyone receive access to the water if we were going to help them with a system and the last I heard they were still discussing this as a community. We did not want to create a situation of the "HAVE" and "HAVE-NOTS" so our hope is that they will come to an agreement where all will have access to the water system.
...more to come...
Monday, August 12, 2013
Top 10-ish Frequently Asked Questions
Here are the top 10ish most frequently asked questions during the last few months:
1. "Are you glad to be home?"
2. "How are you readjusting to our culture?"
3. "Do you feel "better"/"well" now that you are back?"
4. "Do you regret ever having gone to Guatemala?"
5. "How is Mark's new job?"
6. "How are the kids adjusting?"
7. "How is that little boy, Cesar?"
8. "What is Nina doing, now that you all are not there?/How are Kris and DeeDee?"
9. "Did you all accomplish all you set out to accomplish?"
10. "Would you go back again?"
11. "Do you like your new house?"
So...I thought I would conclude this Guatemala chapter of our lives by answering those FAQ's. Be forewarned...this could be a long one...I'm making up for the last few months of silence (at least on the blog--certainly there has been very little silence in my life...moving from foreign country + four kids +potty training + vacations +summer+moving into new house + culture shock+selling/getting rid of tons of unneeded stuff+getting ready for another year of home schooling = chaos...not silence)
**However, please know this is not the end of my writing. I have already set up another blog, and if you would like to you are welcome to follow it by email as you have this one...or simply add it to your reading list to follow. I can pretty much guarantee I will not post as often.
So...to the questions:
1. Yes...I am very glad to be home. I love Knoxville, I love Tennessee, I love family and being close enough to see them. I am very, very, very, very glad to be home.
2. I feel like we are all readjusting to our culture pretty well. Certainly Guatemala has changed us all. We desire to live a much more simple life...and so we have spent the last 3 months purging a lot as we have moved and unpacked. But for me, it is much more difficult to simplify the pace of life. This is something I have not mastered at all. The pace of life in the US is insane...and I am rotten at allowing the pace to control my family rather than our family deciding at what pace we would like to live and making choices in that vain.
Regarding the more general American culture, sure there are things that drive me nuts about it, which I have mentioned in previous posts, but in general, I am incredibly thankful for the United States. I am thankful for the way people are valued and cared for. I am thankful for the order on the roads. I am thankful for space and the value of personal space. These are all things I was very critical about upon my return from my first trip to Africa. I so wanted everyone in "rich America" to get it and understand how hard life is for the majority of the people in the world. I have been surprised how much peace I have felt moving into a home much bigger than anything my Guatemalan friends live in. But the Lord has reminded me that we do not choose where we are born. We do not choose the culture we are raised in. But we do choose what we do with that gift. I am incredibly thankful for the gift of being an American. It is a gift I do think I grossly took for granted for most of my life. However, being back in this culture, I am daily giving thanks for things I never even saw as blessings before this journey.
3. I think several people in my life...perhaps more than several, were hopeful that I would become "well", which I suppose means I would be able to stop taking anti-depressants, when I returned from Guatemala. As if coming home were the real cure. This however, is not at all the case. Yes, being home is easier. Life is simply easier in many, many ways. However, the Lord used our time in Guatemala as a season of stripping for me. The depression was there prior to Guatemala...I simply had many more coping mechanisms in the states than I did in the isolation of the jungle. Scripture often refers to seasons in the wilderness as times of refining. A refining process is painful-- it involves fire. Our time in Guatemala was a personal fire for me. I was heated up to a point where so many of my impurities came to the surface and I was so limited in my resources--there was no distraction from those impurities--I just had to deal with them. And that led me to a point of great despair and hopelessness...and depression. So, upon returning to the States, the battle now is to stay in that fight. It would be very easy for me to simply get busy again (a great coping mechanism) and fall back into my old patterns of pretending everything is great and fine and I have it all together. I am fighting that battle by continuing in counseling and continuing to allow the Lord to dig out the muck in my life--find those impurities and make me into the woman He desires me to be. Oh, it is so painful, but it is so good and so worth it. And I am thankful to have the comforts of home as I wrestle and "become". And the becoming is slow...and life long. So, no, I am not "well" or "fixed" and I do not believe I will ever be "well" until I reach the other side of eternity where the Great Healer will make all things NEW!!
4. I have been asked many times if I regret having gone to Guatemala, since it was such a hard season for me. I would answer that with a resounding NO!!! I am so thankful that the Lord knew that in order to wake me up, he needed to remove me from this culture and get me still and quiet for a significant amount of time. And if going through a painful season is going to make me a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, I would not trade that for anything. It would be like saying I don't want to have a baby because childbirth will be too painful---how much would be lost if I were not willing to go through some pain in order to reap the benefits of what lay on the other side.
5. Many of you do not know that Mark began to work for First Utility District of Knox County upon returning from Guatemala. He is enjoying it, though, as with all new jobs, there is always an adjustment period. He is enjoying getting to know his new co-workers and facing the challenges of learning the new routine. It's especially unique because several of the people he works with were able to visit us in the Ulpan Valley on the February team. My man of many words, when asked, "Do you like your new job?" replies, "Yes."
6. The kids have adjusted remarkably well. The first few months we were home were a little rough, especially for the youngest two. After being in the states for a while, we realized, that perhaps this did not feel like home to them. They were so young when we left last summer, perhaps Guatemala was really what they remembered the most...especially for Little Monkey. But now that we are in our new home, they feel comfortable here and are very well adjusted. Back to sibling rivalry, lots of laughter, and the general chaos with which our home abounds.
7. The last I heard about Cesar was after our teammates, Kris and DeeDee returned in late May. They had been to visit him just before they left the valley and brought a video to show us. What we witnessed was nothing less than a miraculous transformation: a typical six-year-old boy, laughing, playing soccer, running, and looking very healthy. As you may remember, he is currently being cared for by his uncle and aunt. They have children of their own, but they truly seem to love Cesar and want to keep him permanently. Please pray this will be able to happen. Supposedly, the Guatemalan authorities will reevaluate his case in a year (somewhere around April or May, probably) to determine if he will remain with the uncle's family or return to his mother. Please pray for great wisdom and discernment for all involved. Thank you for praying for him and asking about him.
8. Nina is currently living in Guatemala City. She has been working this summer for the Guatemalan equivalent of "American Idol" television show as the cook for all the contestants!! She and her sister have enjoyed working this job together, but it has been extremely tiring!! I have been able to talk with her every several weeks. She is working toward getting re-registered for school and planning to begin classes in January. We are all very hopeful that she will be able to come and visit our family this fall before she begins school. Please pray she will be able to receive a visitors Visa to the United States and that her registration for school will be simple.
Kris and DeeDee returned to the states at the end of May. We have seen them once and plan to see them again this week!! Kris has started a new job at an engineering firm in Nashville. They are getting re-settled into their house and eagerly expecting a new addition to their family-- due to arrive in November!!! We are very excited for them and I can't wait to see DeeDee's growing belly this weekend!!!
9. What we planned to accomplish and what was realistic were perhaps two very different things. I think one thing we learned is that our Western mindset is so ingrained in us. We desire things to happen quickly...and that simply isn't the case in a third world setting. Community development work is S.L.O.W. And a very important lesson to learn is that truly, sustainable, community development NEEDS to be slow. It needs to be community driven. So, while all the water work that Mark worked on while there is meeting the needs of hundreds of people who did not previously have access to potable water, the real accomplishment is that there was an intense amount of training poured into each of the villages in which they worked. Mark went down with hopes to install more systems than what actually happened, but I believe the lasting impact was great. Please pray that the training will continue to filter to other villages and water systems will continue to find their place in the neighboring villages, with help from Knox ProCorps and others when necessary.
10. I would love to go back to Guatemala to visit again. I miss Nina and would love to be with her again. If we went into any foreign missions setting again, I think we would do things very differently. The circumstances in which we lived taught me a lot about my own limits: I need physical space to live that feels safe and provides me a quiet place to simply be. I need time away from my children. Mark & I need time and space to communicate well and have a solid marriage. I need a body of believers with which to worship on a regular basis. I need community around me. So...knowing these limits, we would make different choices if we ever did anything like this in the future. I will not limit the Lord and say I would never live in a foreign/third world setting again. However, my heart's desire for now is to be exactly where I am.
11. I LOVE OUR NEW HOUSE!!!!! Here are the words that come to mind as I think of our home: peaceful, freedom, unexpected blessing, beautiful setting, made for our family. We can set up a slip & slide and wear out all the kiddos really fast!! Our neighbors are wonderful and we are quickly forming some neat friendships. There are kids all around and that has been such a wonderful surprise for my kids. We would love for you to come visit...our screen porch is my favorite space as I sit in my Guatemalan hammock, drink my coffee, watch the sunrise over the 85 acre hayfield behind us, and watch the three horses graze in the neighboring field...yeah...it's pretty awesome!!! Come join me for coffee!!
So...for now...those are my answers to some of those hard and not-so-hard questions. Thank you so much for your faithful following of this journey we have been on. As with all of us, the race is not finished while we yet breathe on this earth. If you would like to continue reading what I am musing during this adventure of life, please feel free to follow my new blog Love to you all. Your support and encouragement have meant more to us than you could ever imagine!!
1. "Are you glad to be home?"
2. "How are you readjusting to our culture?"
3. "Do you feel "better"/"well" now that you are back?"
4. "Do you regret ever having gone to Guatemala?"
5. "How is Mark's new job?"
6. "How are the kids adjusting?"
7. "How is that little boy, Cesar?"
8. "What is Nina doing, now that you all are not there?/How are Kris and DeeDee?"
9. "Did you all accomplish all you set out to accomplish?"
10. "Would you go back again?"
11. "Do you like your new house?"
So...I thought I would conclude this Guatemala chapter of our lives by answering those FAQ's. Be forewarned...this could be a long one...I'm making up for the last few months of silence (at least on the blog--certainly there has been very little silence in my life...moving from foreign country + four kids +potty training + vacations +summer+moving into new house + culture shock+selling/getting rid of tons of unneeded stuff+getting ready for another year of home schooling = chaos...not silence)
**However, please know this is not the end of my writing. I have already set up another blog, and if you would like to you are welcome to follow it by email as you have this one...or simply add it to your reading list to follow. I can pretty much guarantee I will not post as often.
So...to the questions:
1. Yes...I am very glad to be home. I love Knoxville, I love Tennessee, I love family and being close enough to see them. I am very, very, very, very glad to be home.
2. I feel like we are all readjusting to our culture pretty well. Certainly Guatemala has changed us all. We desire to live a much more simple life...and so we have spent the last 3 months purging a lot as we have moved and unpacked. But for me, it is much more difficult to simplify the pace of life. This is something I have not mastered at all. The pace of life in the US is insane...and I am rotten at allowing the pace to control my family rather than our family deciding at what pace we would like to live and making choices in that vain.
Regarding the more general American culture, sure there are things that drive me nuts about it, which I have mentioned in previous posts, but in general, I am incredibly thankful for the United States. I am thankful for the way people are valued and cared for. I am thankful for the order on the roads. I am thankful for space and the value of personal space. These are all things I was very critical about upon my return from my first trip to Africa. I so wanted everyone in "rich America" to get it and understand how hard life is for the majority of the people in the world. I have been surprised how much peace I have felt moving into a home much bigger than anything my Guatemalan friends live in. But the Lord has reminded me that we do not choose where we are born. We do not choose the culture we are raised in. But we do choose what we do with that gift. I am incredibly thankful for the gift of being an American. It is a gift I do think I grossly took for granted for most of my life. However, being back in this culture, I am daily giving thanks for things I never even saw as blessings before this journey.
3. I think several people in my life...perhaps more than several, were hopeful that I would become "well", which I suppose means I would be able to stop taking anti-depressants, when I returned from Guatemala. As if coming home were the real cure. This however, is not at all the case. Yes, being home is easier. Life is simply easier in many, many ways. However, the Lord used our time in Guatemala as a season of stripping for me. The depression was there prior to Guatemala...I simply had many more coping mechanisms in the states than I did in the isolation of the jungle. Scripture often refers to seasons in the wilderness as times of refining. A refining process is painful-- it involves fire. Our time in Guatemala was a personal fire for me. I was heated up to a point where so many of my impurities came to the surface and I was so limited in my resources--there was no distraction from those impurities--I just had to deal with them. And that led me to a point of great despair and hopelessness...and depression. So, upon returning to the States, the battle now is to stay in that fight. It would be very easy for me to simply get busy again (a great coping mechanism) and fall back into my old patterns of pretending everything is great and fine and I have it all together. I am fighting that battle by continuing in counseling and continuing to allow the Lord to dig out the muck in my life--find those impurities and make me into the woman He desires me to be. Oh, it is so painful, but it is so good and so worth it. And I am thankful to have the comforts of home as I wrestle and "become". And the becoming is slow...and life long. So, no, I am not "well" or "fixed" and I do not believe I will ever be "well" until I reach the other side of eternity where the Great Healer will make all things NEW!!
4. I have been asked many times if I regret having gone to Guatemala, since it was such a hard season for me. I would answer that with a resounding NO!!! I am so thankful that the Lord knew that in order to wake me up, he needed to remove me from this culture and get me still and quiet for a significant amount of time. And if going through a painful season is going to make me a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, I would not trade that for anything. It would be like saying I don't want to have a baby because childbirth will be too painful---how much would be lost if I were not willing to go through some pain in order to reap the benefits of what lay on the other side.
5. Many of you do not know that Mark began to work for First Utility District of Knox County upon returning from Guatemala. He is enjoying it, though, as with all new jobs, there is always an adjustment period. He is enjoying getting to know his new co-workers and facing the challenges of learning the new routine. It's especially unique because several of the people he works with were able to visit us in the Ulpan Valley on the February team. My man of many words, when asked, "Do you like your new job?" replies, "Yes."
6. The kids have adjusted remarkably well. The first few months we were home were a little rough, especially for the youngest two. After being in the states for a while, we realized, that perhaps this did not feel like home to them. They were so young when we left last summer, perhaps Guatemala was really what they remembered the most...especially for Little Monkey. But now that we are in our new home, they feel comfortable here and are very well adjusted. Back to sibling rivalry, lots of laughter, and the general chaos with which our home abounds.
7. The last I heard about Cesar was after our teammates, Kris and DeeDee returned in late May. They had been to visit him just before they left the valley and brought a video to show us. What we witnessed was nothing less than a miraculous transformation: a typical six-year-old boy, laughing, playing soccer, running, and looking very healthy. As you may remember, he is currently being cared for by his uncle and aunt. They have children of their own, but they truly seem to love Cesar and want to keep him permanently. Please pray this will be able to happen. Supposedly, the Guatemalan authorities will reevaluate his case in a year (somewhere around April or May, probably) to determine if he will remain with the uncle's family or return to his mother. Please pray for great wisdom and discernment for all involved. Thank you for praying for him and asking about him.
8. Nina is currently living in Guatemala City. She has been working this summer for the Guatemalan equivalent of "American Idol" television show as the cook for all the contestants!! She and her sister have enjoyed working this job together, but it has been extremely tiring!! I have been able to talk with her every several weeks. She is working toward getting re-registered for school and planning to begin classes in January. We are all very hopeful that she will be able to come and visit our family this fall before she begins school. Please pray she will be able to receive a visitors Visa to the United States and that her registration for school will be simple.
Kris and DeeDee returned to the states at the end of May. We have seen them once and plan to see them again this week!! Kris has started a new job at an engineering firm in Nashville. They are getting re-settled into their house and eagerly expecting a new addition to their family-- due to arrive in November!!! We are very excited for them and I can't wait to see DeeDee's growing belly this weekend!!!
9. What we planned to accomplish and what was realistic were perhaps two very different things. I think one thing we learned is that our Western mindset is so ingrained in us. We desire things to happen quickly...and that simply isn't the case in a third world setting. Community development work is S.L.O.W. And a very important lesson to learn is that truly, sustainable, community development NEEDS to be slow. It needs to be community driven. So, while all the water work that Mark worked on while there is meeting the needs of hundreds of people who did not previously have access to potable water, the real accomplishment is that there was an intense amount of training poured into each of the villages in which they worked. Mark went down with hopes to install more systems than what actually happened, but I believe the lasting impact was great. Please pray that the training will continue to filter to other villages and water systems will continue to find their place in the neighboring villages, with help from Knox ProCorps and others when necessary.
10. I would love to go back to Guatemala to visit again. I miss Nina and would love to be with her again. If we went into any foreign missions setting again, I think we would do things very differently. The circumstances in which we lived taught me a lot about my own limits: I need physical space to live that feels safe and provides me a quiet place to simply be. I need time away from my children. Mark & I need time and space to communicate well and have a solid marriage. I need a body of believers with which to worship on a regular basis. I need community around me. So...knowing these limits, we would make different choices if we ever did anything like this in the future. I will not limit the Lord and say I would never live in a foreign/third world setting again. However, my heart's desire for now is to be exactly where I am.
11. I LOVE OUR NEW HOUSE!!!!! Here are the words that come to mind as I think of our home: peaceful, freedom, unexpected blessing, beautiful setting, made for our family. We can set up a slip & slide and wear out all the kiddos really fast!! Our neighbors are wonderful and we are quickly forming some neat friendships. There are kids all around and that has been such a wonderful surprise for my kids. We would love for you to come visit...our screen porch is my favorite space as I sit in my Guatemalan hammock, drink my coffee, watch the sunrise over the 85 acre hayfield behind us, and watch the three horses graze in the neighboring field...yeah...it's pretty awesome!!! Come join me for coffee!!
So...for now...those are my answers to some of those hard and not-so-hard questions. Thank you so much for your faithful following of this journey we have been on. As with all of us, the race is not finished while we yet breathe on this earth. If you would like to continue reading what I am musing during this adventure of life, please feel free to follow my new blog Love to you all. Your support and encouragement have meant more to us than you could ever imagine!!
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